I Love You, too
(a piece of flash fiction)
Sensitive hearing can be a good thing, but lots of times, having it is totally inconsequential. Did you hear that? Yeah, so what? Can’t you hear it? I think I hear something, but I’m not sure. Know what I mean?
I was in the bedroom at the back of the house when I heard the mail truck pull up at the end of the drive. Astonishingly, I could hear the engine, but I don’t really know how to monetize this super skill I inherited from my mom and grandma. I am sure that they could have heard the person in the truck breathing. Don’t believe me, do you? Well, I am pretty certain their hearing was that good.
I mosied through the house and out the front door. I wasn’t expecting anything special; most days, the mail truck passes me by. I get a big, fat nothing. I haven’t received a letter in years, all my bills are emailed, and junk mail was outlawed years ago. There isn’t much reason for me to receive any mail.
I could hear the ticking as I approached the mailbox I built from the lumber leftover from my barn. A lightning strike burnt it down years ago. The fire took most of the wood, but there was enough left over to build a mini replica of the building to use as a mailbox.
Tick, tick, tick… The cadence was constant; there were no missed beats. When I got to the box, I could see the large envelope stuffed into the container. It didn’t have a specific form; it was just foam and plastic. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I grabbed the package and threw it like a frisbee across my front lawn.
Sure, I half expected an explosion, but nothing happened. The package landed on the grass with no fuss at all. I steadied myself as I walked toward it. And yes, I took a minute to look around to see if anyone was watching me.
As I drew closer, the ticking started to accelerate. The pitch became higher, indicating I needed to run as fast as possible in the opposite direction. I slipped on the grass and caught myself with my right arm. I flipped and turned until all eight limbs were aligned correctly. That is when I turned on the speed. As I moved away from the package, I could hear the frequency of the pitch changing. I was sure an explosion was imminent. I was right.
The blast was loud and powerful. Luck was on my side, though; the force of the explosion went into the ground, the mechanism was designed to be face up when it exploded. I was simply lucky that when I threw the package, it landed face down. Fifty-fifty proposition, I guess.
I have no idea how long I was down. I was drifting in and out of consciousness.
“The ringing in my ears was horrific. I couldn’t get relief. I placed my flippers over my head in a futile attempt to stop the noise. That was the last thing I remember.”
“OK, just try to relax. You are going to be fine. Your injuries are not severe.”
The medical services personnel all looked concerned as I was taken to the nearest hospital. During the ride, I was probed, poked, and scanned by various individuals and their instruments of choice.
I was taken to a room with a relaxing blue wave pulsing through its space. It was more of a light blue, not the kind of hue that demands attention. I was happy to be there.
As I woke, I saw her. It must have been instinct that jarred me back to reality. She was trying to inject me with a viscous, green fluid. I took my one free limb and swung it as hard as I could against her head. As she stumbled, I grabbed the syringe and plunged it deep into one of the exposed ridges on top of her head. Whatever the fluid was, it was now coursing through the body of my sixth mate. Her eyes became glassy as she lost her balance. She was unconscious before she hit the floor.
No one bothered to come in and check on the commotion, and I wasn’t going to press the Call Button. After a few minutes, I lost interest and went back to sleep. After all, my guess is she is not getting up.
