The Anonymous Hillbilly
I recently came across an interview on the internet. It was from the late 1980s. An old professor of mine was talking about the anti-intellectual nature of The United States. Even then, he described the suspicion with which the American people held various experts in fields like biology and anthropology. If you have been paying attention, you know this is as true today as it was back then. We have sports stars as our heroes, not Nobel Prize winners.
Many countries in Europe have what are called public intellectuals. They are respected and revered by the population. France has always held such people in high esteem. The Europeans generally respect education and those who spend the time and energy to avail themselves of all the educational opportunities the world offers.
In my experience, the people here in Hillbilly Land view universities as job training centers. A person should not attend unless they are going to learn a profession. Why else would anyone go? Why get a degree in anything other than accounting or engineering? Of course, the big problem (in their limited minds) is that a university education is equivalent to socialist indoctrination. Either that or the universities drive people away from God and toward untold philosophies that lead people straight to hell. Sigh, and sigh again.
Some people might be surprised by what I just wrote. To this day, university graduates are still viewed with suspicion by the deluxe version of the hillbillies here in Hillbilly Land. They bask in their ignorance.
I came across such a person the other day. He was proud of the fact that he didn’t understand how decimal portions of a foot related to fractions. He was also quick to brag about his total ignorance of computers. I didn’t have time to ask him about Trump, Sasquatch, or The Flat Earth Hypothesis. It doesn’t matter; I know where he stands.
Socrates once said that the unexamined life is not worth living. Deluxe Hillbillies think the opposite. The devil is found in all those nonsensical university lectures about Darwin and mathematics. Don’t forget the humanities. Unless found in The Bible, literature is unnecessary at best and harmful at worst. This is the world I live in every day. It is exhausting. I suppose that living in exile isn’t meant to be easy.
I have written a lot about my time at Harvard University. Those years were the best of my life, no contest. Do you know what they call it when you are thrown out of there? When you are finally done, graduate with whatever degree (or degrees) you came to get; you are asked to leave. All graduates are given a specific quest. They are tasked with making the world a better place. I understood then, like I do now, why it is called Exile From Eden.
On that campus, you never have to worry about being too bright, clever, or subtle. Nuance and insight are expected, especially in the written word. If you don’t deliver, everyone is disappointed. Expectations are very high; you wouldn’t believe how high unless you have been there. In Hillybilly Land, the only expectation is that you should…well, there are no expectations. None that I can see, nothing at all. I guess staying out of jail is appreciated by those responsible for bailing you out. I think that is about it.
Hillbillies, by definition, are ignorant. Many remain that way by choice, while others are victims of circumstance. It is tough to break free from that cycle of “hillbillyness.” Even if you escape to a place like Harvard, the tug remains strong. That is why I admire Tara Westover of Educated fame so much. What she did is remarkable.
Now that the lede has been sufficiently buried, I can discuss something important. I believe I am generally an excellent example of what a human being should be. I think if everyone were like me, the world would be a much better place. That is a thoughtful comment; I do not make it lightly. There is, though, one small problem.
Like many people as educated as I am, I do not suffer fools with dignity and grace. I don’t have any problem ignoring them if they stay in their particular lane. As you know, they tend not to do that. The people who got a B in high school shop math and think they are geniuses can be bothersome. They create lots more problems than they are capable of solving. While an old ignoramus might be a little wiser than a young one, they pale compared to the educated who took Socrates’ sage advice. Of course, they will never understand that.
Why? Why this topic? What has made me stay up way past my old guy’s bedtime to smash keys on my laptop? I recently had a short but disturbing interaction with an anonymous hillbilly. It was, like all those interactions, exhausting. I shouldn’t be disappointed anymore, but I am. Certain hillbillies have electricity and have learned how to use computers. I know; I am as shocked as you are. In fact, I am more disturbed than you. I spent years in Eden, so the astonishment of my exile resonates more deeply than it does in others who have never been there.
Clearly, I do not write with hillbillies in mind. This is not a blog for them. I recently wrote a short story about the passing of an old friend. Somehow, an anonymous hillbilly found it and posted a bizarre comment. It was clear to me what I meant when I wrote it. My only worry was that my post wasn’t subtle enough and that my analogy was too on point. For my kind of reader, it wasn’t a challenging post. They wouldn’t have had any trouble getting the message. For a deluxe hillbilly, it was apparently confusing. Once again, such is life here in Hillbilly Land.
My goals since leaving Cambridge have remained mainly unrealized. I wanted a life devoid of hillbillies and all that goes with it. Hillbillies are not especially welcome in my world, even though I am, to this day, a recovering Hillbilly. No matter what I do or think, my mom was still a coal miner’s daughter, and my dad (who is alive and doing well) was still the first person on either side of my family to attend high school. My hillbilly bona fides are above reproach. And somehow, I have a basket full of degrees that would fill a wall if I ever bothered to hang them up. That means I do not have to tolerate mindless ignoramuses who interject and criticize without knowing what they are talking about. I believe Socrates would agree, and that is good enough for me.
