Inspired by a Yahoo – Random Thoughts from a Nonlinear Mind

Inspired by a Yahoo: Inspiration is in Short Supply, we all need to take it Wherever and Whenever we can get it.

I am bursting at the seams. Writing about Edwin Goodwin (the clown who “discovered” that π = 3.2) has elevated me; my ambitions now include worldwide fame. I want riches, texts from supermodels (OK, Danica Patrick would do just fine), and a driver named Jeeves. How am I going to get all these things? Easy, I stayed up late last night and came up with the following rock-solid mathematical proof that 2 = 1. Read on.

$\! \! \! \! \! \! a=b \; \; (easy\; enough)\\\\ a^{2}=ab \; \; (multiply\; both\; sides\; by \; a)\\\\ a^{2}+a^{2}-2ab=ab+a^{2}-2ab \; \; (add\; a^{2}-2ab\; to\; both\; sides)\\\\ 2(a^{2}-ab)=a^{2}-ab \; (simplify)\\\\ \frac{2(a^{2}-ab)}{a^{2}-ab}= \frac{a^{2}-ab}{a^{2}-ab}\\\\ \therefore 2=1$

Why would I give you only one proof when I have two in the bag? Behold the following:

$\! \! \! \! \! a=b \; \; (easy\; enough)\\\\ a^{2}=ab \; \; (multiply\; both\; sides\; by \; a)\\\\ a^{2}-ab=ab-b^{2}\; \; (ab=b^{2})\\\\ (a+b)(a-b)=b(a-b)\\\\ a+b=b\\\\ b+b=b\\\\ 2b=b\\\\ \therefore 2=1$

I am basking in my own genius. I am going to call my congressman and get this thing written into law ASAP. I wonder which supermodel will text me first? My mind is racing, good grief I might even hear from Athena (you will be hearing much more about her later this year). Wow, I’ll probably have to set up some kind of a rotating schedule so that all these women don’t show up at my house at the same time. I don’t want them fighting over little old me. So, do you think this will be a big problem or have I missed something? Do I need to buy some new socks and shirts or should I just chill?

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