Inspired by a Yahoo: Inspiration is in Short Supply, we all need to take it Wherever and Whenever we can get it.
I am bursting at the seams. Writing about Edwin Goodwin (the clown who “discovered” that π = 3.2) has elevated me; my ambitions now include worldwide fame. I want riches, texts from supermodels (OK, Danica Patrick would do just fine), and a driver named Jeeves. How am I going to get all these things? Easy, I stayed up late last night and came up with the following rock-solid mathematical proof that 2 = 1. Read on.
a = b (easy enough)
a2 = ab (multiply both sides by a)
a2 + a2 – 2ab = ab + a2 – 2ab (add a2 – 2ab to both sides)
2(a2 – ab) = a2 – ab (simplify)
2(a2 – ab)/ a2 – ab = a2 – ab / a2 – ab
2 = 1
Why would I give you only one proof when I have two in the bag? Behold the following:
a = b (easy enough)
a2 = ab (multiply both sides by a)
a2 – ab = ab- b2
(a+b)(a-b) = b(a-b)
a+b = b
b+b=b
2b=b
2=1
I am basking in my own genius. I am going to call my congressman and get this thing written into law ASAP. I wonder which supermodel will text me first? My mind is racing, good grief I might even hear from Athena (you will be hearing much more about her later this year). Wow, I’ll probably have to set up some kind of a rotating schedule so that all these women don’t show up at my house at the same time. I don’t want them fighting over little old me. So, do you think this will be a big problem or have I missed something? Do I need to buy some new socks and shirts or should I just chill?
